Pornographic Addiction And Its Effects In Marriage.

In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Islam is a way of life. There is not a topic in Islam that is not touched. It is a complete guide for a believer’s life, from prayer to purity, from Akhlaq to Imaan, from family to business. Everything is balanced. It’s a job of a Muslim to go through it and help himself in following Islam.

Allah Most High says in the glorious Quran:

"O you who believe, enter into Islam completely and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Surely he is an open enemy for you." (Qur'an 2:208)

We as Muslims believe in the oneness of Allah yet fall prey to evil Fitna’s around the world, the reasons of which are numerous based on the place we live and the company we keep and most important the 24X7 internet connection that we have in our palms.

The addiction to evil has become so easy that we do not think twice before committing such sins and become addicted to them. One of the most disturbing addictions we see in today’s Muslim youth is the addiction to pornography.

The first thing we must know about it is that it is haram and forbidden. 

It may start small but over the time it becomes uncontrollable. Many of our brothers and sister are so addicted that they even watch pornographic stuff during work hours and even during family gatherings. My dear beloved brothers and sisters in Islam it is a slippery slope the sooner you get a grip on yourself the better.

The evidence from Quran and Hadith that show that watching Pornography is haram.

“Tell the faithful men to cast down their looks and to guard their private parts. That is more decent for them. Allah is indeed well aware of what they do. Tell the faithful women to cast down their looks and to guard their private parts, and not to display their charms…so that you may be felicitous.” (Quran, 24:30-31)

Abd al-Rahman, the son of Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, reported from his father:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering.

(Sahih Muslim 343 a)

From the above proofs, it is clear and without a doubt that Pornography is evil and should be abstained from. A Muslim is not the one who is immodest and immoral. He should guard his chastity and protect himself from the hellfire. Looking at pornographic things make a person want to commit further grievous and major sins and clearly takes him away from the straight path of Allah subhana-wa-ta’ala.

How it affects the married life of a person.

Being married or not pornography will and does affect the peaceful and pure relation of Husband and wife at some point of their life. Many of my brothers and sisters must be even experiencing some of the effects. Pornography destroys the matrimonial bond. It leads to dissatisfaction of spouse’s among themselves. Decreases the sexual satisfaction and desire with one’s spouse and hence decreasing sexual intimacy.

A person who indulges in pornography not only harms his own self-burns his good deeds but also harms the person related to him. It deeply affects the mental and psychological health of a person. 

Pornography leads to infidelity(cheating/adultery)

In a research conducted by Stack, Wasserman, and Kern (2004) it was determined that a person who committed an act of infidelity was 3.18 times more likely to have used internet pornography than one who did not commit an act of infidelity. They also found that married individuals who solicited the services of a prostitute were 3.7 more likely to have used internet pornography than those who did not. (source: Stack, S., Wasserman, I., & Kern, R. (2004). Adult social bonds and use of Internet pornography. Social Science Quarterly, 85(1), 75–88 accessed via Manning)

From the above research one must take heed and try to protect his/her marriage. It is a very sorry state of affairs that many Muslim youths are trapped in this evil and many of whom have no idea what is the reason behind their falling apart the marriage.

Intimacy between couples is the most important measure for the strong marital bond between the couple. The more the spouses are intimate the more strong bond will be. Hence anything that will destroy this intimacy must be destroyed first.

Watching pornography or participating in cybersex will make your partner feel and experience betrayal, hurt, loss of self-esteem, fear, mistrust, and suspicion. 

If you are experiencing any of such things or if your interest in your partner is diminishing, look at yourself, introspect. 

Try to save your marriage and Aakhira before your bad habits destroy it.