HOW TO BE ROMANTIC LIKE PROPHET MOHAMMED (peace be upon him)

In the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful.

The word Muhabbat (love) is derived from the Arabic word “Hubb” which means seed; a seed that every human being has in heart. It is the function of heart just like vision is the function of the eyes. 

Love is the most beautiful feeling a human heart can experience. Allah subhana-wa-taala Himself has explained this emotion in Quran very beautifully and Prophet Muhammad(saw) was the most loving and romantic person in the whole world. 

Allah subhana-wa-taala describes the person whom He loves in the most beautiful ways as

– the Muhsineen [Those who do good (to others)]

– the Tawwabeen [Those who turn to rightfulness and recourse much to Him and His Guidance],

– the Mutahhareen [Those who keep their bodies free from filth, minds distant from dirty thoughts and conduct clean from unseemly acts],

– the Muttaqeen [Those who guard themselves against evil],

– the Sabireen [Those who  have the capacity to endure hardship],

– the Mutawakkileen [Those who put their trust in Allah and His Laws],

– the Muqsiteen [Those who act equitably and justly]

The love Humans hold for others is not as pure and grand like the love Allah holds for his slaves. A man loves the materials of this Duniya and among them, the most lovable are the persons’ spouse. And this relationship should be filled with immense love and respect. It is not a sin to be Romantic in Islam instead it is promoted and Prophet Muhammad(saw) himself exemplified it.

In many hadith and narrations of Aisha(RA) we can sum up how well Prophet(peace be upon him) was with his wives and especially Aasha(RA).

Here we compile some beautiful and romantic events from our beloved Prophets life and what we learn from those events.

1. Aisha and the Prophet would use code language with each other denoting their love. She asked the Prophet how he would describe his love for her. The Prophet Muhammad answered, saying: “Like a strong binding knot.” The more you tug, the stronger it gets, in other words.

Every so often ‘Aisha would playfully ask, “How is the knot?” The Prophet would answer, “As strong as the first day (you asked).”

This shows that a marriage need not be strict and boring in nature. One should promote healthy playfulness with honor and respect. A loving smile and sweet little secrets never hurt anyone. It is for my brothers and sisters in Islam to be very humble and caring with their spouses.

2. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam once said to Sayyidah Aisha Radi Allahu anha: “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”

Knowing the feelings and emotions of one's spouse is very important. It helps a person a great deal when the situation is not good and also when there is discord. It helps to understand the other person better and be kind in the best possible way. A person should be sensitive towards his spouse's feelings and not try to hurt them in indifference.

3. Once during a journey, Safiyyah - the wife of Allaah's Messenger (may Allaah be pleased with her) was crying because she had been made to ride a slow camel. The Prophet (peace be upon him) didn't tell her she was being unreasonable. Instead, he wiped her tears, comforted her, and even tried to find her another camel for her.

Here we see that even though the reason for the distress of our mother Safiyyah(Ra) was not that grievous but the Prophet (saw) did not act indifferently or rudely or even laughed at it. He simply comforted his wife and tried to get her what she wanted. 

4. Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would drink from the place where Aisha(Ra) would drink. If there was meat,  he(saw) would take the bite from the place where Aishas(Ra) lips had touched. Thus enjoying the union of spouses. How many of you do that?

5. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.”

It simply means that your wives are your responsibilities and even a little goodness you do towards her is an act of ibadah and you will be rewarded for it. By this, your wife will feel security and love and comfort.

6. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would call his wife ‘Humairā’’ out of love.  Linguistically it means the little reddish one, but the scholars state that in reality, it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun they get a reddish tan.  This was the reason why the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam called her Humairaa’.

Messenger would call his wife Aa'isha by the nickname 'Aa'ish' just to joke with her

It is beyond any doubt that prophet Muhammad(saw) would call his wives with the most beautiful names. Doing so makes the bond stronger and places the seeds of great love among the hearts of spouses. Your spouse will love it and love you more. Isn't that the love we all crave for?

7. Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because of Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān 2:228.)[11]

He(saw) would look good for his wives, it is reported that he(saw) would do miswaak after coming home so that no bad odor comes from him and wouldn’t repulse his wives from him. How many of us do that? We simply keep the ugliest of the pajamas to wear at homes and all the good clothing are kept for outside occasions!

8. Anas ibn Malik narrates, "I saw the Prophet (salla Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam), making for her (Safiya) a kind of cushion with his cloak behind him (on his camel). He then sat beside his camel and put his knee for Safiya to put her foot on, in order to ride (on the camel)." [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

What we learn from this is that our wives are not our maids but our better halves and must be treated like queens. If you are not to treat her like that then who would. Allah has chosen you to respect and treat her likewise and you ought to do so. Same applies with the women, they are responsible to make their husbands feel grand rather than someone with no importance. If our prophet didn’t shy away from treating his wives in a respectable and honorable manner than who are we to neglect it!

9. Aa'isha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates in Sahih Al Bukhari V2/B 15/no.70]:

It was the day of 'Id, and the Black people were playing with shields and spears, so either I requested the Prophet (peace be upon him) or he asked me whether I would like to see the display. I replied in the affirmative. Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) made me stand behind him and my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, "Carry on! O Bani Arfida," till I got tired. 

The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked me, "Are you satisfied (Is that sufficient for you)?" I replied in the affirmative and he told me to leave. 

It simply means respecting the wishes of one's spouse and trying to fulfill them just to see them happy.

10. Once the prophet (salla Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam) was sitting in a room with Aisha and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight was staring at him long enough for him to notice. 

He said, "What's the matter?" She replied, "If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you." 

The Prophet (sallaAllahu 'alaihi wa sallam) asked, "What did he say?" She replied, "Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see." 

So the Prophet (salla Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam) got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, "Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more."

Express your love! It is a human nature to want to be pampered and told how he is loved. Tell your spouse now! Tell them you love them. How long has it been that you didn’t express your love to your spouse? Tell them what they mean to you. Wallahi brothers and sisters this will uplift your relationship and add more romance and love in your lives. And yes little fewer differences.  

11. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst the worst of people.

Do not ever speak about your wife's/husbands private matters in public. It is between you two and is not something the whole world should know. And the little others know about your personal matters the better. You will find peace. Your wife is for you and you are for your wife, there should not be anyone in between.

12. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woolen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”

She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 316; Muslim, 296)

Your wife does need more love and care especially when she is menstruating or sick. You don’t separate and be indifferent towards her on those times rather make her feel comfortable and loved. Same applies to women, if your husband is sick, make him feel loved and comfortable. Take care of him and be dutiful towards him. Always keep smiling too.

There are numerous other events and narrations that shows us how beautifully our Prophet handled his relationship with his wives and being a Muslim we should follow his Sunnah in our relationships too. 

May Allah guide us and fill our lives with much love and romance.